Hurry up and Wait

And so it is, just another day and I still don't know what to do with life. I'm anxious, competitive with myself, white-knuckled, and for what? It doesn't really matter at all. According to quantum physics, it' doesn't matter. So, why do I care so much about catching my personal bus? Will it take me to stardum, to peace, to a pleasant gut feeling, to relief, to a safehouse? I'm learning about letting go and letting be. I'm sure that's a witty bumpersticker on some VW Bus, or a Zen priest's #1 step to happiness already, but more and more I think there's something to it. Looking back, it looks as though my life's motto has been, "hurry up and wait". Hurry up with school, hurry up with work, hurry up with wellness, hurry up with love, hurry up with understanding, hurry up and plan before I'm caught with my pants down and a north wind blowing. And yet, I'm still waiting.