Expectations

Don't expect.....or your happiness will be left up to everyone else.

Hurry up and Wait

And so it is, just another day and I still don't know what to do with life. I'm anxious, competitive with myself, white-knuckled, and for what? It doesn't really matter at all. According to quantum physics, it' doesn't matter. So, why do I care so much about catching my personal bus? Will it take me to stardum, to peace, to a pleasant gut feeling, to relief, to a safehouse? I'm learning about letting go and letting be. I'm sure that's a witty bumpersticker on some VW Bus, or a Zen priest's #1 step to happiness already, but more and more I think there's something to it. Looking back, it looks as though my life's motto has been, "hurry up and wait". Hurry up with school, hurry up with work, hurry up with wellness, hurry up with love, hurry up with understanding, hurry up and plan before I'm caught with my pants down and a north wind blowing. And yet, I'm still waiting.

"Happy Travels, even if you're not going anywhere"

How many people out there think they are pretty good at judging another's character? Yeah, so did I until I overheard some dj's on a local radio show rehashing their morning discussion about the use of marijuana. They were on a particular high about the call-in response from famous travel guru Rick Steves. Steves is typically seen on public television giving travel advice from a foreign destination, sporting non-wrinkling khakis, serious-minded glasses, and a day pack over his shoulder. He speaks of local culture, travel tact, history, and geography like a fun-fact almanac. Heck, I even bought his book, Europe Through the Back Door, on my first trip to Europe back in 1998. What might the non-offensively mannered Rick Steves have to say about the recreationally used U.S. banned substance? Here is a non-exact quote, "Well, as I always say, 'Happy travels, even if you're not going anywhere'". Hold up. Did I hear that right? We'll never know unless I call the radio station myself and set the record straight. Which I'll never do because I'm too lazy (no, I'm not a pothead) and it would spoil all the fun of the shock. He also mentioned that his favorite countries to travel in are those who have legalized these types of substances. If I may be at liberty to interpret his statements from an anthropological viewpoint, I would say that he means to embrace a particular country's expression of culture, not rebel against U.S. laws, necessarily. Rick was pretty bold and daring for publicly standing up for his beliefs, reminding me that I should never assume anything!

Note: check out the song 'Wildwood Flower' for a relic and humorous take on the subject.

My first real taste of kayaking! This lone venture on a lazy afternoon break from fish hatchery work lent me both relaxation and a natural high, especially after two bear sightings. All ya need is a borrowed kayak and a sense of adventure!

-Esther Island, AK, USA

"In a moment of decision, the first best thing you can do is the right thing. The next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing is nothing." -Theodore Roosevelt

A year is long enough.....

Due to recent outside interest in my blogs, I've decided that updates are necessary. Who wants to read year-old material anyway? Apparently some do, but blogs written pre-25 years old seem costly to my current image of maturity (kidding). If ever there was one, I'd be writing for the Wall Street Journal or undergoing book signings throughout the country right about now. However, life has it's way of throwing you curves and you find out that there's so much more to learn before you even start writing or publishing anything. I'd like to think that this blog is safe and central to the ever-changing navigation of the ponderings of life.

That being said, and if I still have your attention, here's a little somethin'-somethin' to freshen the curious mind: Word has it that I'm taking a break from school. Has anyone ever gotten to the point where current wanderings have no meaningful reasoning and simple things like taking a long, hot shower or feeling the branches of an Evergreen between your fingers are all that matter? If not, I'm afraid we won't be winning 'Friendship of the Year'. No matter. As mentioned above, life is ever-changing. Perhaps we'll win next year. You may be asking, "So, what ARE you doing now?", which is only fair. The answer to that question is that I've just gotten back from Christmas vacation in Tucson and and the only thing on my mind is the mountain of laundry I will be conquering over the next day or two. It's a nice break from my usual ponderings of fretting and fidgeting over the curves of life and which end of those curves God sits at. Yes, you can fill months with those thoughts.

WILL PASS FOR A SMILE:

Why don't people just smile more?. I think people would have more friends and dates if they did. In fact, that's the very thing that's been keeping me going during this week of violent rationalization and biting of nails. There's nothing like passing someone you know, or wish to know, over the sewage bridge or leaf-lined sidewalk and watching them smile at you like they were looking for you the whole time. Smiles lead to many places. For instance, I smiled at a guy I passed every school day for three weeks and eventually he asked me to a party. I continuously smiled at another person in passing for a couple days and now he's coming to a party I'm having. I haven't seen the first smiling guy much since the party, but I'm not here to guarantee that smiles create relational development post initial-invite; smiling just helps with the get-going, ya know what I mean?

One of my lessons of the week: a passing smile is a friend waiting to take you out on friday.

Perhaps from a less selfish viewpoint, a passing smile might positively influence a less fortunate soul, say, someone experiencing a hangover, a bad hair day or a beloved pet's passing. You never know. It might even be yourself who gets influenced! For instance, there's a girl I frequently smile at in passing who I met through a mutual friend. We don't know each other, really, but during a few bad hair days of my own, she's managed to make me genuinely smile back at her, even when the curving of my lips is comparable to getting hit in the head.

Another lesson of the week: a passing smile creates more smiling despite skull pain.

Little buggers...!

What do you do when you have a Ladybug infestation? Is it just me, or do Ladybugs look creepy in clusters? I never thought they'd gross me out as they do now, crammed into the cracks of my livingroom windowsills, but they've turned a pukish yellow-orange, rather than an electrifying red. They also manage to carry a heavier stench than normal. If you touch them, the smell gets all over your fingers. When I was a kid, they were my friends, so light and pretty, and comparable to the majesty of a butterfly. That was then. I still think they're cute, but not as innocently beautiful when buzzing around with their little wasp wings. When I first discovered them huddled in a corner, I thought, "oh cute. I'll just release them outside". There were about 6 measely little bugs then. I opened my window and started picking them up with my fingers one by one and throwing them out the window. I soon realized there was a problem with my calculations...they weren't going away! They kept mulitiplying before my eyes, until it seemed there were about 40! They were so crammed that they were keeping the cold from coming through the cracks. Hokey smokes! What do you do with 40 Ladybugs?! I'd call an exterminator if I had a cockroach problem, or rats, or....but Ladybugs?

I wanna come back as a Bonobo

They're shameless lovers. They'd rather gaze into eachother's eyes than pick a fight. I thought about how they're like you and me, only they're furry and not quite our closest relatives, though they should be. From everything I've learned about the bonobos, I want to be most like them out of all the primates. It seems they live for peace, not war, and are habitual love-makers. Physically, bonobos are slightly smaller than chimpanzees in overall body size, with larger eyes that scream of innocence, as well as less prominent jaws. Thanks to my biological anthropology professor, I've collected a portfolio of bonobo stories that seem to be the same repetitous tale, told over and over again, at chronologically different times. The recurring theme? Love-making. Yes, bonobos are by far some of the most creative species when it comes to sex, and seem to thrive on the variety in which they carry out the act. Though it may seem funny, this observation is key to familiarizing oneself to the primary lifestyle of these animals. It is proven through documented field observations that one eight-hour observational session is not for the easily embarrassed; bonobos win the love-making title over many other primates, such as gorillas, chimps, persimians, orangutans, etc. In other instances, chimps are arguably more easily upset than bonobos. Chimps are more aggressive and willing to put up with a fight, whereas, bonobos would just assume fight for life or death rather than over mates, children, or food. Perhaps this is why we are most closely related to chimps. As humans, we fight over the silliest things. Fighting over mates, children, food, you name it, seems much more understandable in the human realm because it's supposed to be a big deal. I wonder if we should take some notes from the bonobo lifestyle. If I believed in reincarnation as a primate, which I don't, I'd hope to come back as a loving bonobo.

I left my heart in Moab, Utah 

Prepping mind, soul and body for Biological Anthropology

As a regular member of the world's student association, I can assure you that the stress I'm feeling today in preparation for my midterm tomorrow will most likely be felt tomorrow as well, and then the next day, and all the following days until December when school finally ends for the quarter. Raw nerves could be attributed to so many things, I dare not start to list them all for fear I wouldn't have time to study for my midterm. Perhaps that's why I'm so jolly about writing this blog...I get to procrastinate on the expansion of my brain just a little longer. But, back from drifting subjects, I'm pretty sure us students should be awarded "best backbone" or "Most stress taken within a four-year period", right along with our Bachelor's or Master's degrees. I've asked myself if this is worth it like 20 times today. Will I really be able to cram so many facts into my head before 9AM tomorrow morning? This is only the first of 3 midterms and I hardly know if I like bio-anth yet or not. A breakthrough in mental prep happened upon me around 3:30PM this afternoon as I sat in my livingroom going over genetics equations with a classmate: "YES! Holy cow, I actually understand this stuff!" It was definitely one of the most exciting moments of my week. Or of the year, for that matter. Science finally made sense to me. I still have a few more hours to buckle down, jam my face in the anthropology textbook, and make more sense of it all, but I'm on a roll. Especially when I opened up my fortune cookie that came with my Chinese dinner from Safeway. It read : you could prosper in the field of medicine. I'll take that as a pass for biological anthropology.